Well I have been wanting to find away to start helping bring in money to our home! I took the plunge and signed to sell Scentsy!! It is AMAZING it is a "wickless candle" its yummy smelling food grade wax (like they spray on apples) and the scent lasts way longer then a candle and they are also A LOT safer. I have had many discouraging moments in the very short time I have been selling Scentsy not even a WEEK and I am so close to being Certified!! I can't wait I am trying to get there with out overly pushing the fact that I need to get Certified!! I am hoping that with Scentsy I can save enough money up with all my commission to take a vacation to meet the in-laws.

I have dealt with some nut cases over the past few days too and tons of DRAMA over me signing to sell and who I chose to sign under. GET OVER IT!! I have medical problems too hence why I don't work a regular job and I was just trying to help someone who needed help as well as try to atleast sell enough to be able to get my meds and all back didn't know that was a crime. You claim you are BROKE but I see you in all these groups and forums BUYING stuff seriously and I am the liar look in the mirror sweetie!!

The past week has been insane other then trying to get sales. Anthony has been working til 4,5 and ever 6 in the morning when he is suppose to get off at like 11pm the paycheck will look amazing but ugh our schedules are so screwed up and now he is working til 5am til May this is going to be where I get worn down and go insane!!!

I am usually NOT the Jealous type but you can only hear someone talk about everything they have that you long for!! I mean yes EVERY woman who has her head on straight should get the experience of a lifetime by carrying a baby within her body that is what woman do!! While so called friends know my chances of having kids are at 40% or less due to medical problems they still somehow ONLY know how to talk about themselves and their unborn children when we talk! Yes I get you are pregnant and yes I get you are excited but I would like to hear more then I want to know what this baby is,its bouncing around,oh I am not sure the baby likes this food or that one. I mean people are popping out kids who don't need another one cause they can't handle the one they have let alone afford it!!

I know my wedding was a hole in the wall thrown together wedding! Why because we were BROKE when we got married Anthony had a huge probability of deploying so we did it cheap and easy or so we thought it was going to be that way but everyone put their 2 cents in where they probably should NOT have since they didn't hold their end of the plans. I was left high and dry doing EVERYTHING for my wedding since 2 unnamed people we suppose to plan my bridal shower and help with the wedding but bailed last minute. I was going to get married in a skirt and blouse not a dress even though I wanted to but a friend insisted I needed a wedding dress and she would pay for the whole thing in full but some how I paid $50 my dad paid $75 and she paid $50! Said she would pay my dad back and never did. My so called sister was suppose to come over the morning of my wedding to help me and my mom prepare the food and what not did she help NO she showed up at 2pm the wedding was to start at 4pm in that 2 hours she helped with NOTHING other then tying me in my dress.

Needless to say I am so sick of people rubbing their baby bellies and their fancy dancy weddings in my face!! We didn't have the money and probably can't have kids so why pour salt into an open wound especially if you know my situation!! I earn EVERYTHING I have or I worked for it at one point or another!! If I didn't my husband did so we deserve it while yes I am sure most everyone else's worked for their stuff too but it doesn't matter when you throw it around like monopoly money or buy bullshit stuff before paying bills or without keeping money aside to get you through til the next paycheck!!!

I am so ready to move out of town,change my name,number and looks just to get away from everyone!! I should NOT have to feel this way I am a good person but somehow get the shitty end of the stick in every friendship I try to have with an exception of a few!!

So this will just be a bunch Rambles as my new blog name will soon be The Mindless Rambles of My Crazy Life!!! My blog will have a WHOLE NEW LOOK soon thanks to my Battle Buddie Sami :) Oh what would I do without that woman I would be LOST that is what would happen without her. When I am having a bad day or she is having a bad day we call,text or IM each other. I would be lost I wouldn't have anyone to bitch to about the stupid people I encounter daily whether it be in person,text,phone calls or internet.

I see so much that aggrivates me like people violating OPSEC it is there for a reason I mean seriously do you want your loved one coming home safe?!?! I know I do so keep those things to yourself don't post deployment photos of them leaving and do NOT post dates they leave or locations. I mean seriously people can we get a grip on things you can get in trouble as well as your husband who is serving in the Military READ OPSEC if you haven't read it I will gladly share it with you. I mean UGH

I shall blog more tomorrow as this is my 2nd blog today lol

So I have been noticing a lot here lately how many innocent children are being diagnosed with the EVIL "C" word. I mean seriously they are so young and innocent,they still have their whole lives ahead of them then the dreaded thing comes they are told they have Cancer!!! While I have never had to deal with being told my child with cancer personally because I don't have any it still breaks me when I find out that an innocent life has been taken over by something so EVIL!!!

I don't get why people throw that in someone's face I was reading on a friends page who's son has cancer :( He is only FIVE years old well she makes hair bows and what not she let a customer know that she was still with in the time frame of her turn around time and the woman told her that she wanted her money back and it wasn't her fault the woman's son had fucking cancer :*( its not the little one's fault he did NOT go around asking to get the shit how can one be so cruel to ONE an innocent child already going through so much and TWO his family who is going through a lot as well?!?!?

I mean seriously ask yourself before you go around talking about children with cancer how would you feel if you were told your child had cancer at a very young age and how would you feel is someone tried making you feel bad or guilty for being a little behind on something because you were taking care of your sick child who NEVER once ASKED to be the one chosen to have cancer.

Kids go around with hopes and dreams of curing cancer not being the one waiting on a cure for cancer so that they can live a normal life. In the past week I have met 2 more people online who's child is either in remission or was just diagnosed with cancer. It is very sad and heartbreaking when you learn that another small innocent life can be taken away at ANY moment due to this horrid evil thing. There are times that its caught to late simply because of being misdiagnosed with either a tummy flu or simple headaches so they have to go through MILLIONS of tests just to get to the bottom of what is going on with their tiny bodies there are not able to fully fight this EVIL thing off that easy.

So please before you speak ill of a child with cancer or any other medical problem put yourself in those people's shoes!!

Why I say this you might ask cause it is TRUE!!! I mean seriously I get so SICK of being nice to people when does the niceness end? I mean I KNOW I can be a BITCH there is NO DOUBT about that but seriously I TRY not to be that person. I TRY to be positive but its so HARD when all you do is get the short end of the stick or royally monster screwed by everyone you make friends with. I mean yes I have a few wonderful friends online which I really wish they lived closer. All the friends or should I said aquaintences I have here are ALL FAKE I know that is a horrible thing to say but why come to me claim everything is so HORRIBLE in your life,you are broke so you can't hang out or you are trying to safe money so you aren't driving all over the place since gas is now averaging $3.50 where we live. I try to be understanding as I know money does NOT grow on trees however if you know where to find a REAL Money Tree that produces legit bills share the wealth. Do NOT complain to me about having no money when I tell you of places to apply or tell you to register on careerbuilder.com!!! I mean seriously you tell me okay I will look at it but when I tell you of places that are hiring they may NOT say right there on the site the words came from the place hiring itself just APPLY worst that can happen is your application sits for 90 days cause no positions were open but I am sorry retail has a HIGH turnover rate. They are ALWAYS hiring!!! STOP BEING A MORON and get your head out of your ass!!! You are NOT too good to flip a burger or say paper or plastic for $7 or $8 an hour. Yeah it may NOT be much but fuck it helps and it is WAY more then you have now. You just want things handed to you that is why you stick around ugh seriously life isn't EASY that is why its called a BITCH cause damn boy howdy if it was EASY we would all be walking around saying Man Life is a such a SLUT!! Sadly we don't we walk around talking about how hard life is and how BIG of a BITCH it is but we all have to grow up at some point

I am tired of people complaining to me about everything that can go wrong in their life but when I want to talk about what has went,going wrong or what I know can go wrong it does NOT matter to them in their book they are so self absorbed and it is really sickening. I thought a friendship was a two way street with open arms NOT a one way street where its all about one person's feelings all the time. Things on my end are NOT the best at the moment but I TRY not to air my dirty laundry to the world but there are a few who are willing to listen to me whine,bitch,moan,complain and cry when something MAJOR happens. I mean there are a select few I know I can call at 2am to cry about my day.

I am thinking that even though my husband was in the National Guard almost 11 years and is now in the Reserves and has never been deployed Military wives make better friends then the civi girls I am learning that I have tried keeping civi friends cause well damn it there are not any Military Wives in my neck of the woods and if they are they aren't in my town so I would have to travel 30 minutes or so to meet up with them. There are times I wish I lived on Post so that I could make more Military friends but then I hear horror stories there as well. I mean where in the living blue hell are the semi normal people? I seem to alway befriend the whackos and I guess same could be said for me but I have papers what is their excuse haha. I mean all jokes aside though why do I deal with the crazy ones.

To be honest I MISS alot of the people I use to hang out with but we have all grown apart and went our separate ways for whatever reason whether it be moving away,got married or had kids. I mean those are really the only TRUE things I have lost my old crowd too. I wish life was EASY at times and I could get EVERYTHING handed to me but WHY get it all handed to me?!?! I seriously don't think many know the value of a dollar anymore which is ridiculous I was taught that at a very young age. While yes I do splurge here and there but its not like hundreds of dollars at a time.

I would love to sell Scentsy BUT it seems everyone sells it and everyone gives away TONS of FREE stuff which if I sign up I won't be able to do that til we go Active Duty and that could be months!!! I have a feeling that if I can't do all the FREE stuff no one is going to want to buy from me but I can't afford to do it I can barely afford to sign up if I do. I mean if I sign next week after a few small bills and signing we will have $69 to our names for 2 weeks before the next check comes in and well they aren't much but they pay what bills are important. Thankfully we live with my parents but I feel bad in turn because we can't help them as much as I would like.