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12 March 2011

I am Usually NOT the Jealous Type

I am usually NOT the Jealous type but you can only hear someone talk about everything they have that you long for!! I mean yes EVERY woman who has her head on straight should get the experience of a lifetime by carrying a baby within her body that is what woman do!! While so called friends know my chances of having kids are at 40% or less due to medical problems they still somehow ONLY know how to talk about themselves and their unborn children when we talk! Yes I get you are pregnant and yes I get you are excited but I would like to hear more then I want to know what this baby is,its bouncing around,oh I am not sure the baby likes this food or that one. I mean people are popping out kids who don't need another one cause they can't handle the one they have let alone afford it!!

I know my wedding was a hole in the wall thrown together wedding! Why because we were BROKE when we got married Anthony had a huge probability of deploying so we did it cheap and easy or so we thought it was going to be that way but everyone put their 2 cents in where they probably should NOT have since they didn't hold their end of the plans. I was left high and dry doing EVERYTHING for my wedding since 2 unnamed people we suppose to plan my bridal shower and help with the wedding but bailed last minute. I was going to get married in a skirt and blouse not a dress even though I wanted to but a friend insisted I needed a wedding dress and she would pay for the whole thing in full but some how I paid $50 my dad paid $75 and she paid $50! Said she would pay my dad back and never did. My so called sister was suppose to come over the morning of my wedding to help me and my mom prepare the food and what not did she help NO she showed up at 2pm the wedding was to start at 4pm in that 2 hours she helped with NOTHING other then tying me in my dress.

Needless to say I am so sick of people rubbing their baby bellies and their fancy dancy weddings in my face!! We didn't have the money and probably can't have kids so why pour salt into an open wound especially if you know my situation!! I earn EVERYTHING I have or I worked for it at one point or another!! If I didn't my husband did so we deserve it while yes I am sure most everyone else's worked for their stuff too but it doesn't matter when you throw it around like monopoly money or buy bullshit stuff before paying bills or without keeping money aside to get you through til the next paycheck!!!

I am so ready to move out of town,change my name,number and looks just to get away from everyone!! I should NOT have to feel this way I am a good person but somehow get the shitty end of the stick in every friendship I try to have with an exception of a few!!


  1. I'm sorry dear that people take an advantage of your niceness. I hope im still one of the good ones. I know we don't talk as much anymore but im still here for you. I know how it is when ppl take adva. of your niceness. Trust me I know.

  2. Awww babe, I didnt have a wedding, not really I wanted to just have the courthouse deal because we planned on having a wedding later , he was getting ready to forward deploy and between trainings we just never knew when he would be able to do it the first chance we got we did it. 3 years ago today. i bought a dress that you would wear to a simple party, and well my mom prepared food and my aunt got decorations that was about it for our wedding plans. I know that all i wanted was to be married to him and the location and party did not matter. I mean was it really worth spending a ton of money for others? you got what you went for... to become his wife and no high and mighty party is going to change that...

    The baby thing will come. its been 2 years for us and we are on the lets just wait and see birthcontrol method lol and nothing. but when I first got preggo all he did was look at me... so it all comes when its supposed to.

    You let everyone spend there money and flash it in your face, and then be broke, and you keep yours saved and stashed away for something thats worth it.

    My mom has 2 BMWs a honda civic and a ridgeline, yet cant seem to pay her mortgage or afford groceries lol, and now we are left in a situation with no car because they are both broken down, can we borrow one of hers NOPE! because she needs one on this day for this and the other for schoool and god knows what...

    I dont get mad i just know better next time not to ask... <3 you hunnie hope you feel better!

  3. Thanks Crystal-I know you are there I have just been laying low trying to stay away from everyone.

    Dina-I know but I am so sick of people every time they talk to me it is all about a baby they never say anything more other then the baby this and the baby that. I am just sick of how people have treated me when I do nothing to them but be NICE and do what I can to help them


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