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08 June 2011

Tin Woman




I am not even sure where to begin ''/ *sigh* I am in just one of those I want to runaway and disappear for a good while I mean not that anyone would notice right?!?! I am so sick of people throwing their pregnancies in my face or their alleged pregnancy I should say!! This one girl has lied so much about medical problems its kind of like what do you believe?!? We use to be close but drifted apart now when we talk all she does is send me pictures of an ultrasound photo that you can't see anything let alone information and then sends me a "belly" picture. Sorry sweetie looks like you are just bending backwards to pooch it out!! Seriously over insensitive people especially when they know my chances of getting pregnant are slim ):

Money here is SUPER tight we are BARELY staying afloat and the ONLY reason we are is because we live with my mom which I have no problem with I am a mommy's girl and would live at home forever if I could. I feel helpless as I am trying to get a job and having no luck with finding one,Tony is looking for a 2nd job so we can get bills paid for each month and try to get a car and things like that of our own. I am trying my best to sell Scentsy and get a regular job but I have been so down all I want to do is just stay in bed under the covers with my bullie face!

I don't talk to anyone anymore seems the safest way to try and keep things from being thrown in my face all my *friends* are NEVER around when I need them but they expect me to drop everything and run to them when they are down an needing a shoulder to lean on or a ear to listen.

I am going to TRY and look into a few programs that don't require a ton of medical tests and what not to try and go back to school but I am not to sure about that yet since I am not having any luck finding work why waste time and money to go to school?!?!?

I just want to lay down and cry my eyes out even though I know it won't bring money,happiness or fix the things that are wrong :*( Guess it might make me feel better though I just wish I was a "Tin Woman" and didn't have a heart so I wouldn't have to feel this way!!!








2 comments:

  1. Amber, I always have an open ear. I work a lot so I don't see all of your posts. If at any time you need an ear, I'll always have one. I also was not aware of your conception chances. Please, love, I'll always listen and always do what I can!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Love I just try to keep everything here in my blog or even to myself so I am not bringing others down as well. I appreciate your ear being there,I know you are a busy woman as well kiddos and work keep you busy. I just need a break ''/

    ReplyDelete

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