I am normally on top of things but this past week has been a little insane and getting information that may change our lives forever.

Scentsy-Is doing wonderful I have 4 ladies under me and half way to my monthly goal just another $250 to go!! I am trying to help my girls as much as possible with information and encouragement to keep pushing forward. This month sees like a slow month so let's pray it picks up. We have what is called "Tow Jam" here I want to go to an hand out business cards and talk Scentsy with people who may have NEVER heard of it just wish I had a friend to go with me. Next "Tow Jam" I am going to go armed with Catalogs,Samples and Business cards!

The Adult Toy Shoppe-Got my 2nd review item in from them (: It is going to make Date Night with the husband well interesting to say the least so be on the lookout for that review to come soon

Army Life-We are no long in the Inactive Ready Reserves,we are in the Regular Army Reserves!! We are waiting on orders should have them next week!! So fingers crossed its the orders we want,I know some units are going to Deploy soon and we are facing a Deployment *YUCK* but we have to do what we have to inorder to get things in our life fully on the RIGHT track financially. If he doesn't deploy we will FINALLY be able to crossover to Active Duty as he will NO longer be considered Prior Service as he will be in the Active Reserves so fingers crossed we get somewhere.

I believe that is all for now going to hit the shower then the bed

This week has been a week from HELL

Monday was a doozie I ended up with NO sleep an at the Emergency Room with my mom thanks to lovely chest pains an since she has already had a heart attack as well as a stroke we can't take a chance with NOT going to the emergency room plus her arm was going numb.

I was there til almost 9pm && we got there at 11:30am so Valentine's Days was wow insane Anthony said he wanted to do something but got pissy cause I was at the hospital with my mom an the ass didn't even have anything planned cause we had NO money to do anything but I sold all my charms,bracelets && everything so I was going to HAVE money but he had no plans so how were we to do anything?

I come home to place my Scentsy order to be told NO we don't have the money!! I had the money it was MINE I earned it bought things with it an sold those things!! I told my friend Jenne I would order from her well I feel horrible I had to back out cause Anthony told me NO we got into a HUGE argument since he spent money $100 on a PSP when he was still in New Mexico without saying anything to me til a week or so after he bought it. I wanted to know what the difference was I mean we still have bills an debt out so I did NOT see any difference there.

Tuesday-Refer to the Blog prior to this one

Wednesday-I wake up puking my guts out ALL day long!! I was completely miserable an have NO clue why I got sick. I was sick all day yesterday too ate some solid foods after not eating for a day things stayed down which I was AMAZED at. Slept some yesterday but NOT much at all an have been up ALL night never went to sleep the icky feeling is starting to settle in again :( So I am dreading that God please let everything stay down!!

Today-I went to Anthony's Ex Wife's myspace page to see when the last time she was on since we have to have her SS number for these ARMY papers it appears that her an her crack headed husband has had twins how true this is I am NOT too sure. I mean she has pictures of her doing everything a mom to be would be doing at a baby shower an doubles over EVERYTHING. When she was with Anthony she faked pregnant along with miscarriages when they were married. If she did have kids I want to know WHY is it that the ones who do NOT deserve them can have them an pop them out like gum balls from a gum ball machine an the ones who long for that precious gift from Heaven can't have it or they have to jump through hoops && over hurdles to get it?!?!?

I am glad this week is coming to an END && a NEW one will be upon us soon!!!

Welp we FINALLY have the ball ROLLING on going Active Duty ARMY hopefully in the next 2 months that will all be done. We have ALL the RIGHT paperwork an Anthony is working on a information packet he needs to have filled out before we go next week to talk with the Main Recruiter at our Recruiting Station. I can't believe its actually happening now..

After more then a year of fights,9 months apart,papers being lost,wrong papers being sent,being told one thing then another we are getting to the point of where we NEED to be so that we can have a steady income && medical insurance if it wasn't for the fact that I need medical insurance an we need a guaranteed amount of money each an every month Active Duty would have NEVER been an option.

With the economy sucking an our President sucking just as bad Active Duty ARMY is the ONLY option we have! We were suppose to see more jobs with Obama in office have we seen them?!?!?! NO We were suppose to all get medical insurance did we get that??? NO

With Active Duty ARMY we will have it ALL now it won't come as an easy sacrifice by any means I will pack && move away from my family an the town I have grown up in,lived in my whole 24 years of life && what little friends I have left here. My MAIN concern with that is leaving my mommy since she has medical problems so money will ALWAYS be a MUST HAVE on hand incase I have to ever do an emergency drive or flight down home.

That is the update on that for now :) More to come

Finally after over a year of waiting,crying,time apart && so MUCH more Anthony has FINALLY been discharged from the New Mexico National Guard!!! It was an Honorable Discharge an now we are able to move forward an NOT look back on the National Guard. Note by no means am I dissing the National Guard they serve && protect too but this Unit really SUCKS!! After getting the Inspector General Involved EVERYTHING was done in a fucking WEEK that has been taking OVER a year to get done an was NEVER done. Over the year we have had papers lost,told things were getting done when really they weren't,pushed aside when the unit came back from Deployment while I know that those Soldiers who came back from Deployment NEEDED the attention an DESERVED it because its a HUGE transition to come back to the states after being at war for a year or more. I just do NOT get how they can just push the other Soldiers aside like they NEVER existed! Which is what the unit did oh we can't do this because we have the Unit back from Deployment an we have to get the Demobilization process done an so on an so forth!! In my opinion I believe they should have a task force who helps Demobilize the Soldiers returning from was as well as a task force to deal with those on REAR D

I mean come on they are all going to need attention!!! An they all deserve the attention they need!!!!

So by far this is the BEST experience I have had so far as an ARMY Wife. Now the Journey Truly begins,Tuesday we will be off to the Active Duty Recruiters with the paperwork we were emailed today so prayers an fingers crossed!!

I have had it with my husband's National Guard Unit!! They can't seem to do an damn thing right!! We have been trying to get Anthony over to the Active Duty side of things so that we can have a steady income,Medical Insurance an be able to get on our feet!! Anthony's unit told him it would be FASTER && EASIER if he went into the Inactive Ready Reserves inorder to go Active Duty ARMY. Well he filled out those papers on December 4th an here we are January 31st an the fucking papers still have NOT been processed. I am tired of living the life of uncertainty with these morons yes I understand the like of an ARMY Wife is full of uncertainty BUT usually it isn't filled with uncertainty of if your husband is going to have to move a few thousand miles away WITHOUT you on your own dime. If Anthony has to return to New Mexico I am NOT really sure what we are going to do considering he will have NO place to live out there an his unit does NOT believe in allowing a Soldier to stay in the barracks at the armory which the last time I checked is for the Soldiers who need a place to live especially while dealing with Military Business. I mean I could be wrong I have talked to several people over the past year && 2 months about this shit an they say something is NOT right an someone of course is NOT doing their job.

Anthony has contacted his 1st SGT to be told to use the Chain of Command well HELLO we have been using the Chain of Command for over a year an it has gotten us NO where but stress,unanswered questions an alot of uncertainty. I understand that the unit he belongs to came back from Deployment in Mayish BUT the Rear D never did anything an once the unit got back from Deployment they pushed Anthony aside. Now after them being home for almost 8 months they still have NOT gotten shit done.

Anthony was able to Drill with the Florida Guard this month BUT that was a one time thing an well they still haven't posted his pay for that we have bills that need to be paid.

I just don't fucking get it!!!

Ugh here we go back where I was a month ago off my meds cold turkey && feeling like SHIT!! I really wish that somehow someway they ARMY would get their shit together so we are able to go Active Duty && have medical insurance. Everything revolves around money && money we don't have. I am suppose to take about 10 meds before bed,5 in the morning a few through out the day but can't afford $400 in cost for meds. I can't get Medicaid cause I am not pregnant && have no kids seriously I believe it is beyond bullshit the guidelines alot of the states have inorder for you to be able to qualify for Medicaid. They say aside from being pregnant an having kids you can get Medicaid if you are disabled,go figure I was denied even though mental illness is one of the hardest things to live with. I can't get local health through the place here in town they go on a sliding pay scale an well we have no money an we can't prove that! I called them the other day to see if they could help me an they said NO!!! I honestly do NOT even know why I bothered calling them because I have tried several times over the past 2 years to get help through them but they tell me I am not a crisis case so on an so forth. So I guess you have to have a gun to your head or something in this town to get help. I just don't know anymore :( Anthony has been home for a month && 5 days an he has been busting his ass looking for a job an has had a few interviews since being home but nothing ever turned into a job. I have a feeling alot of the reason why no one will touch him is because he is Military an they don't want to go through the whole hiring process an training then he have to deploy.

I am not sure of any other programs around here in our area that I could get help through I mean Anthony isn't a Veteran or any of that so that won't work out for me either. An while yes Wal*Mart has the $4 meds not alot of mine are on there an still average out to be a good deal of money that we again don't have. I believe if we didn't live with my parents we would not be able to make it. An while I try to remain positive it does NOT always work. I try so hard but don't get very far an I have tried not taking my meds but then my dad tells me I need them but yet won't help pay for them. I am just clueless right now an I know I am NOT the only one in need an there is always going to be someone out there who has it alot worse off then us but damn it this past year && a half has been emortal hell an we can't catch a break. Something HAS to give an SOON or I am going to loose my damn mind!!!

With being off all my meds I have an upset stomach an I want to throw up,certain smells make it worse && my jaw pops like crazy an headaches turn to migraines. I really HATE the fact that I am having to go through withdraws an it takes forever to get to where I don't get sick from not having my meds. I just...I really don't know anymore...