That about sums it up, I have been super slacking when it comes to blogging lately. I have been trying to catch up on blogger reviews that I have out from a few companies. Be on the lookout for those to come over the next few weeks. I am not sure that I would call it slacking or would I?! Life came in and took over as well as I can't focus for crap to sit here long enough to blog. I have had people message me or comment on my Facebook asking if I was still blogging. The answer to that is YES just not as often as I was or as often as I would like. I stopped taking on reviews for the most part until I get fully caught up. Most of my reviews that I have been doing are over on Eden Fantasys website. I have thought about trying to find away to scroll my reviews on here so that if you check my blog daily then you can see if I have posted anything new. I am going to TRY my best to share my reviews from Eden over on my blog Facebook page as well. 

For those of you who have been following know that things here have been well INSANE to say the least. After 2 months I FINALLY was able to get seen by the Orthopedic after MAJOR runarounds with the doctors office and their insurance company. My knee is still getting swollen if I use it too much which also leads to pain, I have been dealing with my kneecap sliding out of place which in turn makes me loose balance an almost fall again. I don't need this at all, I have a knot by the joints where my knee bends the Orthopedic said it is more the likely scar tissue. Scar Tissue?! Which means something has probably torn in order to create scar tissue, I have to go to physical therapy for 4 weeks 3 times a week as well as get an MRI done. I was given my prescriptions for Physical Therapy and my MRI since this is a liability claim I have to jump through MORE hoops then I already have to get to where I am. I called the insurance company an of course get the caseworker's wonderful voice mail, I hung up an called back why would I leave a message for a woman who I am still almost FIVE weeks later waiting for her to return a phone call to me? Good thing I got the information I needed from her supervisor a few weeks ago, I called back an asked for her supervisor he told me he couldn't fully pull up my case that I had to talk to the woman over it that he would transfer me to her. I told him the same thing I was STILL waiting for her to return a call from 5 weeks ago, he told me he would walk across over to her office to make sure she answered the call. I get on the phone with her and was told oh just find a Physical Therapy place down where you are and a place of your choice for your MRI since I am in another state I can't help you with that. So I call the Radiology place I was told to go to, I was told by my Orthopedic I could NOT go anywhere else but there!!! I call to set up an appointment they tell me they have to call my primary doctor's office because they need the insurance companies information that the claim number wasn't enough. So here I sit waiting for Monday so I can call the Radiology place an see what they found out, I NEED to get this MRI done and soon!!! I called the Physical Therapy place and they had to call the insurance company, really you aren't going to get anywhere with them either I was told Friday we will call  you back by 2:30pm today welp that has come and gone with no phone call. I too will have to call them on Monday, which no one may or may not be in the offices of both places since we have a Tropical Storm threatening the wonderful Sunshine State. 

I am over the pain of trying to do NORMAL everyday activities like getting a shower,doing laundry,going to the store just walking in general. I also HATE that my knee is screwed up when it comes to the sexual side of things I am NOT one to just lay on my back I like different positions! With all this going on it is putting me off the road even longer which also means I won't be going back to the road :( that part kills me. By the time Physical Therapy and whatever else may come of this since I don't know the extent of the damage til I get my MRI done I don't know what lies ahead of  me. If I am able to drive rigs again I will HAPPY but also, that means having to come up with $800-$1,000 for a refresher course since I have been off the road almost 6 months. 

I really wish I would have just went back to the road after my mom's procedures like she told me to but STUPID me let my now ex, talk me into NOT going back because I was needed at home. I still kick myself in the ass over that whole situation but there is NOTHING that I can do about that now other then go on lessons learned! 

I am looking for work again around here locally where I live in hopes to be able to just work and go back to school. I am just worried that I will get a job an loose it due to the pain in my knee and also the "UNKNOWN" problem with my knee. I know they can't hold that against me if they know about the injury upon hire and I won't hide that I have a bad knee, my main concern I want to say is that I am worried my knee will give out an then it will also turn into a Workmen's Comp thing an that isn't fair to the company. That is the main reason I didn't just run back to the road when I got to the point of being able to walk and move somewhat normally. 

I am going to try and update this blog more often I know I have been slacking!!! I do have some reviews that I need to get up and working on from the wonderful people over at Erotic Toy Town I have the Colt Shower Shot Dong to review from there! I have several items from a bullet to flavored lubes right up to a Lelo G-Spot Dildo from Our Naughty Secrets! I am also doing onsite reviews over at Eden Fantasys so be sure to check me out over there as well!

Oh and don't let me forget that I also caved and made an account over on Tumblr you can checkout my posts over there HERE feel free to follow me :) 

This post may hit some sore spots and it may also make people view me a lot differently! So many people love to preach the Bible and judge others! No one should judge anyone that is God's job to do the judging so who are we to judge others? 

He who lives in a glass house should NOT cast stones!

Plain and simple if your hands aren't clean and you aren't living by the book why point out how others aren't living by the book? Most will say Facebook is the devil and causes tons of DRAMA which I will agree it does,however a lot of people bring the DRAMA upon themselves. I seen a post about women lusting over males in a movie you should rethink the reason you got married as well as your morals?!?! Follow me here I see NO harm in drooling over men in a movie that you will NEVER meet in real life and if you do your chances of having a sexual encounter with them is like 1 in 5 million. He who lives in a glass house should NOT cast stones comes in here,why would you post something such as this and expect there NOT to be a debate made out of it? I mean you have had children out of wedlock and biracial children at that so who are you to judge? If you aren't living by the Bible why mention things about others NOT doing the same?!?! 

I believe in God don't get me wrong but if you look around there are MANY people who don't live by the Bible. I know I don't live by the Bible I have had sex before marriage,getting a divorce,curse and so much more that is against the Bible,but I don't really judge others for doing wrong!!

I have seen this a few times where people NEED to learn to practice what they preach. I use to hangout with a girl ALL the time who was all about God and church congratulations just don't push your views and religion on me!! Especially if you aren't living by the book that you claim everyone should be living by. Here is a little in site on this one the girl who was trying to push religion on me had sex BEFORE marriage,got pregnant BEFORE marriage,had a threesome after marriage,did a partner swap during their marriage with another married couple,messed around with another man while still married living with her husband and is now going through a divorce! Please tell me where at in the Bible all this is right? This same girl was judging me cause I was engaged and having sex before marriage and when my fiance at the time said we could have an open relationship on my end I went back to an ex of mine. While yes that was all sin but who was she to judge me when her hands weren't clean? 

I mean again I am NOT preaching just trying to wrap my head around all this for those who claim to be holy or better then others when really they aren't? 

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...make sure you hands are clean!” 

Here we go again I am in the same spot as I was in this time last year! Confused,single yet married without a job and worrying about how I am going to get by in life!! Well I have come to the conclusion that I will be A OKAY without the one I truly deep down love with all of me. Won't go into details on what happen just that we aren't together anymore :( It kills me knowing this but again I WILL get through this and I will come out stronger. 

I have been off the road almost 4 months it doesn't really seem like it has been that long EEKK Where in the hell has the time gone?!? I have been going back and forth with the decision to go back to the road or not to go back to the road. I came to the conclusion that I am going to go back to the road BUT I ended up with Kidney Stones which mind you hurt like hell,came out of NOWHERE and I swore I was going to die. I have NEVER in my whole life felt that kind of pain let alone ever had Kidney Stones. I was going to reapply for my job on this past Monday if the doctors cleared me to go back! I went to my first appointment it was raining like hell since we had a Tropical Storm out in the Gulf. First step in the doctor's office door I slipped and fell! My leg went behind me an everything from my right knee all the way up my back POPPED and it was LOUD as hell. The girl at the desk came out to check on me but she claims she NEVER saw what happen but yet she was looking me straight in the face when I came through the door. She didn't want to help me up she had 2 of the girls from the back come out but I got up MYSELF since that woman didn't want to help. It went from excruciating pain to numbness which when it happened I didn't worry about what could have been torn or broken my initial thought was Oh great now I WON'T be going back to the road thanks to this. Went to the back the Nurse Practitioner looked me over and ordered X-Rays for my L-Spine,Hip and Knee all on the right side. Went and got those done the doctors office is trying to push this all off onto my insurance company when its NOT their fault or place I believe the doctors office should pay for it all. 

Well Monday after I went to my 2nd appointment with the Urologist and I was cleared of Kidney Stones I came home and my Primary Care Doctor had called advising me to go to the ER to be seen by an Orthopedic Doctor. First thought was OMG something is broken or really messed up :( After a runaround with the office staff between me and my mom trying to get information they said they had ONLY had my hip results back. With that said I called the doctors Tuesday to see if they got all the results back because I don't have the money to go to the ER and the woman who answered said yes they were back but she couldn't give me the results she would have the doctor call me. I left yesterday since my bestie was in town and what not the doctors NEVER called to let me know what was going on. Scared to death of what was going on I still didn't go to the ER with money being an issue so I called this morning to be told NOTHING is broke THANK GOD but I have all kinds of fluid around my knee. In turn that means I have to still go to be seen by an Orthopedic Doctor but I MAY not have my insurance come July 2nd when I have to go renew it. I asked them so who is covering all this?? Cause I sure the hell can't and it is NOT my fault I fell. Yes the floor was wet and yes there was a wet floor sign but non the less they didn't mop it up and the rug was pushed all the way up to the counter and not by the door where it should have been. So now going back to the road or any kind of work is put on hold right now :( 

I have a few new items coming from Body Jungle for review! I can't wait to see what they sent out this time :) From what David said I should be getting two items. They don't tend to tell me what I am getting just that it's stuff from my wish list! I hope I didn't include any couple's stuff on the new list since well I am single now. Ooops guess I need to go look at my wishlist then huh?!?! Should have the items in a week or so! Be sure to checkout Body Jungle for some of the newest sex items! They are a new company as well based out of Florida so help support them even if you only order something small :) 

Happy Blogging and Happy Hump Day 
If you are a NEW Follower please let me know you are following and which way you are so I can be sure to follow you back. Please leave a link to your blog for me 

<3 

Sorry I have been MIA around here lately I have been well dealing with life!! I am now blogging on two blogs which is why I haven't been on this one much "/ sorry for my readers who actually follow me and look forward to my posts. I am still looking for a job and still without one,I have been to FOUR interviews an was denied the job along with denial emails from other places I have applied with. Very upsetting and very depressing to say the least! I NEED a job again an soon but it has to be close to home so going back OTR isn't in the question which in a way sucks cause I miss riding around on 18-wheels. 

*sigh*

I did my very FIRST set of video reviews for Ladygasm products it was awkward to say the least but we will see what they think of the videos once they receive them :) I have been earning my points on Eden Fantasys which has been fun and VERY addicting :) I must admit I get on DAILY to earn points even if its NOT the maximum amount I can every little point adds up though. I am in the process of saving up for THREE sexy pieces of lingerie that I can't wait to get in. I think I am done getting actual toys for a bit I have PLENTY to say the least lol I NEVER though I would ever be able to say that I have TOO MANY sex toys :) 

This blog will mostly be reviews,sponsored posts,random rants & rambles that I normally post but the intimate or detailed aspects of my life that I would usually post here have been moved over to a completely private blog. I hope you all still follow me and enjoy reading what I post here.  I thought about taking a break from blogging but I don't think I could really do that,I mean that would be like me saying I was going to close my Facebook or stop having sex hahaha that will NEVER happen!!!

Well if you have read previous posts about me having to come off the road for personal reasons I am NO longer an Over the Road driver as of tomorrow I will no longer be an employee of Werner :( bittersweet if you ask me just pisses me off that I was told when I took my leave of absence that I would have my job when I came back I would just have to go through additional training!! I received a call last week from Home Office in Omaha telling me if I didn't come back and get my truck/load by the 5th I would no longer be employed by them that it would be considered a voluntary termination. I can't help that I have to be home due to medical reasons of a close family member that I HAVE to be here for and well they will be having surgery on the 5th I told Werner I had every intention in coming back when everything was said and done. So I feel as if I wasted tons of time doing the training process with the company let alone going to school for 3 months :( I cried,screamed,yelled,cussed and wanted to run away. 

I filled out several applications for what I call bullshit jobs as they don't pertain to my CDL I applied for several Wal*Marts,Sam's Club,Suntrust and  GC Services. I went for an appointment at GC Services this morning but I don't think I will get the job due to the main reason I had to leave my other job :( They asked if I had to leave one job to take care of a family member how would I be able to work for them. I mean 18 miles vs several 100 to 1,000 miles?!?! I mean I would go to work and what not I just can't be far from home right now.

So with this whole set back I am in the process of TRYING to return back to school once again but with that I need $400 before I can even fill out the application and what not "/ There are a few courses I am looking into that I believe don't require the whole medical background check but that isn't a top choice of mine :( This is going to be hard knowing that I have to go back relying on someone to pay my bills and put gas in my car. I was so happy to be able to stand on my own two feet even if it were for only 2 months. I wasn't expecting to have to come home and off the road you can't control things like that though. 

I have a few reviews coming up as well from Whole Sale Keychain I got TWO awesome key chains from them and I have personal reviews on some items I got from Eden Fantasys. I currently waiting on a replacement item from Pleasure Heaven they told me to choose another item that I wanted to get to review in place of  The Daffy Deep Stroker that I received to review and it didn't work :( An on the way is what I am hoping to be an AMAZING toy from Va-Va Voom. So be on the lookout for those :) 

*SIGH*

I am home and off the road for personal reasons for quite sometime unsure of the time frame at this point but I am needed at home so what better place for me to be then at home?!?! 

Last post I was talking about how I was in the process of becoming a qualified driver! Well guess who became a qualified Werner Driver?!? This girl right here oh yeah!! I passed my road test and backing test that I had to do at the terminal. Nervous yes I sure was cause my backing SUCKS but 2 months with very little backing while I was in training I won't be perfect for a good while. Eventually, I will get the hang of it back 73 feet of truck and trailer gets challenging to say the least especially if the only back you are use to doing is backing out of your drive way or the parking spot at Wal*Mart haha. 

I have been a BIG ball of emotions littlest stupidest things have made me cry! I had fair fish from the Strawberry Festival that died and my Black Moore fish I got from Wal*Mart die and yep I cried! Ugh not sure what is going on but things have been insane and far from NORMAL. 

I am in with another toy company doing reviews I am patiently/impatiently awaiting for my package to arrive with 2 new high end vibes to show up on my door step :) I will now be doing reviews with Pleasure Heaven! go check them out tons of awesome toys for him and her,lubes,oils and so much more!!! 

Last night was a good night I got to spend time with my love who was off the road for a whole 24 hours while his rig was in the shop! I love being with him and spending quality time together. Not seeing eachother all the time makes the time we do spend together mean so much more. Today's adventures took us on a lunch date to Cici's Pizza where we ate til our hearts content or should I say tummies :) Ah I love the life I am living even when there are some speed-bumps in the middle of the road I am traveling down!!

WOW it has been almost 2 months since I last blogged! Things here are a little on the CRAZY and INSANE side of life but what else is new in my life right? My training program is over and I am in the process of becoming a qualified driver!! How awesome is that?!? Pretty awesome right I had MANY doubts through the whole training process and had MANY of battles with myself on "Do I really belong out here on the road? or Do I really belong at home?" I came off the road Saturday morning and will be off the road for a good while but can't disclose that information however I am NEEDED here at home. Really sucks in away cause I don't want to take time off from the road as I am worried I will forget half of what I learned but its a skill and once I have it the skill is MINE no one can take it I just have to hold on to it and not let it slip through my hands. 

I am looking forward to going back to the road even though I have been battling back and forth on wanting to continuing with this adventure but I made a promise to the one I love and who has been behind me 100% that I would TRY and do this all on my own before giving up and walking away. Once I return from my leave of absence I will get my own truck and head back out to putting her in the wind. My last few weeks of training were more challenging then the beginning in the last 2 weeks of training I dealt with driving in blinding rain where you couldn't see 5 feet in front of the tractor while driving 35mph down the interstate with my flashers on!! Very scary for the first time ever driving in the rain like that! I made it through it successfully just to have a blow out about 100 miles or so down the road...Joy NOT really but luckily it didn't take breakdown forever to come change the tire and for us to get back on the road. The following few days I took on high winds gusts up to 30mph and rain nerve wrecking to say the least but I made it through that okay as well. 

I look forward to going back to the road but I will have to see what the next month or so brings which will determine if and when I will return to the road, 

For now I am trying to get back into the swing of a NORMAL life whatever that may be,I have to get to the point where I can sleep at night and not through the day since I am not on the truck. It is going to be challenging since I just got use to sleeping during the day and driving through the night. However,with the home time it means I can clean and organize my room and what not which is well overdue for a good cleaning. I can also get back to doing reviews for the 2 toy companies I have been reviewing for over the past year!! Can't believe it has been that long man how time flies by!! 

My first night off the road after being up over 24 hours being an emotional wreck I got to go to the Strawberry Festival with the one I love!! We enjoyed a night of rides and greasy yummy fair foods (: followed by snuggle time when we got home. I look forward to more date nights since I am home now just have to make it on the days when he isn't on the road. Sometimes being a trucker and a trucker's girlfriend gets kinda hard and lonely when you are home and he is on the road or he is home and I am on the road. Luckily there were a few times when I was in training that our trucks crossed paths and we were able to see eachother even if it was only 15 minutes here and an hour there but it was better then nothing at all. Valentine's Day came and went while I was on the road but I got lucky enough to have a truck stop date with my love he ended up in the same town and state as me and my trainer!! So we stopped and had dinner together (: I got a box of chocolates and a monkey <3 I am easy to please and it is the littlest things in life that make me so happy!! 

I must say I am SO GLAD to see the year 2011 GO!! This year has been nothing but hell for the most part. I don't even know where to start with a rundown of the year most of the year is now a BIG blur just the main parts I do remember and really wish those went right into the big blur the rest of year went to. 

I won't so much do a run down of the year by the month just a few highlights one year of marriage,Army bullshit,money issues,"friend" issues,health problems of my own as well as my mom,reconnected with an amazing friend who I am glad we reconnected like we use to be,lied to,cheated on,abused,divorce,school,new job and so much more!!! That is pretty much the highlights. 

ONLY GOOD TO COME OF 2011

I reconnected with a friend of 5 years and I can say that was AMAZING Love him tons!!!

Started Truck Driver Training on September 10th and Graduated December 10th took me a few weeks longer then the program is suppose to but I DID IT I have my Class A CDLS. 

I was able to spend a week with my longtime best friend of 12 years when she came in from Cali!! Love her face and can't wait til she comes home!!!

~BRING ON 2012~

I am so ready to see what 2012 holds for me!!! 

So far I know it is going to hold some challenges and tons of changes but I will go into detail about all that later!!!!

I will close out my LAST blog for 2011 with be on the lookout for NEW YEAR'S updates pertaining to many things that have happened or will be happening to make 2012 MY year!!! I will have a new review up for a toy company as well as my sponsored posts!!! I am OOBER EXCITED that I will be able to blog on the go since I have a Droid again :) YAYNESS so I should be blogging more :) Whoop 

Well I have started school I am in headed into my 3rd week and so far I am loving it. Trucker girl here :) I passed the test my FIRST time to get my CDL Permit which means I can drive the trucks with someone who has a Class A permit as well. Very exciting my instructors are pretty much awesome as well. I love it there. 

I started work too which is another reason why I haven't had time to blog. Work is work of course just ready for the park to open. 

Lots going on in my personal life but we won't go there..Be on the lookout for updates and reviews (: 

It has been a good bit since my last update and OH BOY have things changed A LOT. 

I am now a working woman once again just waiting til my initial start date! I will be working at Legoland Florida (: I will get paid to play with Legos all day how exciting!! I will be doing Retail over there so selling and playing with Legos will earn me my paycheck. I went to my interview with tons of confidence,happy and smile that helped me out a lot with the lady I was interviewing with. She pushed me through to the 2nd part of the interviewing process :) I went in there with confidence and a smile as well. I was so happy when I got the job!!

Guess what it was kind of one of those WOW someone must have read our minds kind of thing cause a friend and I were talking about how we needed to get together to hangout like the OLD days and welp she got a job at Legoland too!!! We both have Orientation the same day and times <3 How exciting is that?! I wonder how many other people I know will be working there as well... 

I go later this week to get set up with a career counselor through the program of where I am trying to get my funding for school so wish me luck on that!! 

I need ALL the luck I can get with everything that is going on right now. I won't really go into details on that right other then some days are AMAZING and other days I would just love to run away to never be seen or heard from again. Like always though I am STRONG and I can get through this. I mean come on I am VERY independent and strong willed at that,I have been through a lot in my life and it has helped me become the person I am today. 

Little Surprises Around EVERY Corner

Sometimes you can tell that someone really does listen to what you have to say and reads what is going on in your life without bumbarding you with who,what,when,where,why and hows! I was sitting here the other week minding my own playing on the computer and my mom came in with an envelope I asked her what it was and she replied with I don't know. It was from my friend Erica which was a SURPRISE within itself as we hadn't really talked much in the past few month,but when I opened the envelope inside I found a small box. I slide open the box to find a FOUR LEAF CLOVER key chain inside with a little note...The note said that she had remembered a conversation we had,had several months ago when I was going through a lot an I mentioned I NEEDED a Lucky Rabbit's Foot or a Four Leaf Clover...Erica said that when she came across the key chain it was a must get for me which I thought was so sweet of her and made it mean more because she remembered that conversation. Since getting the key chain things have been looking up so is it working or is it all fate?

I must say however with all the BAD going on the GOOD outweighs it times a MILLION. I have the most wonderfullest BFF in the whole wide world and could NOT ask for someone better.

I have linked up with another toy company to do reviews for them as well so be on the lookout for that (: OOBER EXCITED with what my future is going to hold <3 

So much going on around here not sure which direction is up at this very moment but I will get it all right on track sooner rather then later. I have been so stressed,depressed and loosing my ever loving mind but luckily I have a few good people by side to help through all that is going on here,. I won't go into full details just that I need prayers that things go my way and look up soon. 

I am in the process of getting back into school I am going to be doing a job that so many have told me is a MAN'S job and a woman shouldn't be doing it. Guess what I shall prove the ones who have said that and the ones who have said I can't WRONG!! I will prove I CAN DO IT and I want to do it which makes it just that much better, I am going to be getting my CDLs in the next 3 months I am so OOBERLY EXCITED and can't wait to climb behind the wheel of 50 plus feet of Chrome and Steel. I already got my acceptance letter to school <3 

I received a new review item in the mail the other day from Eden Fantasys so be on the lookout for a review coming up on that!!! I have a few other items coming way for review as well I can't wait to get them as I love giving my feedback to the companies who value TRUE and HONEST opinions of their items : ) 

That is all for now I will try to get back into blogging more often again

Why I say this you might ask cause it is TRUE!!! I mean seriously I get so SICK of being nice to people when does the niceness end? I mean I KNOW I can be a BITCH there is NO DOUBT about that but seriously I TRY not to be that person. I TRY to be positive but its so HARD when all you do is get the short end of the stick or royally monster screwed by everyone you make friends with. I mean yes I have a few wonderful friends online which I really wish they lived closer. All the friends or should I said aquaintences I have here are ALL FAKE I know that is a horrible thing to say but why come to me claim everything is so HORRIBLE in your life,you are broke so you can't hang out or you are trying to safe money so you aren't driving all over the place since gas is now averaging $3.50 where we live. I try to be understanding as I know money does NOT grow on trees however if you know where to find a REAL Money Tree that produces legit bills share the wealth. Do NOT complain to me about having no money when I tell you of places to apply or tell you to register on careerbuilder.com!!! I mean seriously you tell me okay I will look at it but when I tell you of places that are hiring they may NOT say right there on the site the words came from the place hiring itself just APPLY worst that can happen is your application sits for 90 days cause no positions were open but I am sorry retail has a HIGH turnover rate. They are ALWAYS hiring!!! STOP BEING A MORON and get your head out of your ass!!! You are NOT too good to flip a burger or say paper or plastic for $7 or $8 an hour. Yeah it may NOT be much but fuck it helps and it is WAY more then you have now. You just want things handed to you that is why you stick around ugh seriously life isn't EASY that is why its called a BITCH cause damn boy howdy if it was EASY we would all be walking around saying Man Life is a such a SLUT!! Sadly we don't we walk around talking about how hard life is and how BIG of a BITCH it is but we all have to grow up at some point

I am tired of people complaining to me about everything that can go wrong in their life but when I want to talk about what has went,going wrong or what I know can go wrong it does NOT matter to them in their book they are so self absorbed and it is really sickening. I thought a friendship was a two way street with open arms NOT a one way street where its all about one person's feelings all the time. Things on my end are NOT the best at the moment but I TRY not to air my dirty laundry to the world but there are a few who are willing to listen to me whine,bitch,moan,complain and cry when something MAJOR happens. I mean there are a select few I know I can call at 2am to cry about my day.

I am thinking that even though my husband was in the National Guard almost 11 years and is now in the Reserves and has never been deployed Military wives make better friends then the civi girls I am learning that I have tried keeping civi friends cause well damn it there are not any Military Wives in my neck of the woods and if they are they aren't in my town so I would have to travel 30 minutes or so to meet up with them. There are times I wish I lived on Post so that I could make more Military friends but then I hear horror stories there as well. I mean where in the living blue hell are the semi normal people? I seem to alway befriend the whackos and I guess same could be said for me but I have papers what is their excuse haha. I mean all jokes aside though why do I deal with the crazy ones.

To be honest I MISS alot of the people I use to hang out with but we have all grown apart and went our separate ways for whatever reason whether it be moving away,got married or had kids. I mean those are really the only TRUE things I have lost my old crowd too. I wish life was EASY at times and I could get EVERYTHING handed to me but WHY get it all handed to me?!?! I seriously don't think many know the value of a dollar anymore which is ridiculous I was taught that at a very young age. While yes I do splurge here and there but its not like hundreds of dollars at a time.

I would love to sell Scentsy BUT it seems everyone sells it and everyone gives away TONS of FREE stuff which if I sign up I won't be able to do that til we go Active Duty and that could be months!!! I have a feeling that if I can't do all the FREE stuff no one is going to want to buy from me but I can't afford to do it I can barely afford to sign up if I do. I mean if I sign next week after a few small bills and signing we will have $69 to our names for 2 weeks before the next check comes in and well they aren't much but they pay what bills are important. Thankfully we live with my parents but I feel bad in turn because we can't help them as much as I would like.

Or should I say another week of HELL comes to an end!! Thank gosh it has come to an end this week was similar to last week been sick most of the week,dealing with stupid people who don't know how to use common sense and my opinion in my marriage amounting to nothing. I mean if we agree on something or its right there in PLAIN sight in black and white why ask me or do the complete opposite of what we talked about. Seriously I mean come on!!! Why are we even married if my opinions on MAJOR situations are taken in consideration or you say okay we will do it that way but when I am not there or looking you go an do something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT then what we agreed on. I mean use your common sense sometimes I swear I feel like I am talking to a kid instead of my husband. While I understand I am NOT the EASIEST person to live with especially right now you knew when we got together I had mental medical problems and relied on my medicine to control my anger and everything else but,right now we can't afford them let alone a pot to piss in so to speak. I am not going to lie I have been mean and hateful but what can I do I try to control my anger,mood swings and everything else but its hard when I know I need my meds and we can't afford them with only one of us working. I have tried getting a job everything goes good til the interview and even I feel that those go well but never get a call back :*(

I haven't really laid how I feel about things out on the line lately but I am going to be doing it REAL SOON. I mean seriously there are so many people having kids who shouldn't even be having them to begin with I mean come on get with it 23 years old 3 kids and trying for more cause all you have are little boys and you want a little girl?!?!?!?! People seriously need to get a grip on life there was a girl I use to be friends with who claims she is Bipolar and all this other stuff well I believe she is WAY BEYOND that when all the talk of 2012 came about she told me she would rather drown her kids and husband followed by drowning herself before the world came to an end because she would be damned if she was going to burn to death. I mean I am not all that religious or anything but I do believe in God,Devil,Heaven and Hell and well if you ask me if you do a murder suicide you are going to burn in hell!?! So either way she would be burning right? Follow me here NUT CASE!!!

Another thing that gets me is why do people only come to me when they have a problem? I mean I have ENOUGH problems of my own that barely anyone wants to sit and listen to aside from Samantha,Hayley and Crys I mean I listen to EVERY ONE'S problems even if I think they are the stupidest problems in the world. I mean don't come to me complaining about money issues and you not having a job if all you are going to do just as soon as you get money turn around and blow it on non sense shit. Yes I will admit I spend money on unnecessary things here and there but it is VERY RARE!!! Bills first and necessities that we NEED then may go buy things we WANT but the IMPORTANT things are always paid for FIRST!!

I can't stand when people think money is everything and that they must flaunt it when they have it or brag about all the new stuff they just bought. Don't brag about spending a bunch of money then come to me complaining about how you have NO money for food or gas I mean think with your brain. I know a lot of people who stood in the WRONG fucking line when brains were being handed out. God said Brains NOT Trains so do the world a favor go trade your Train in for a Brain.

People around here need to learn to drive I swear to you the Wal*Mart parking lot is one of the WORST places to ever be whether you are driving in the parking lot or walking in it. The other day Anthony and I went to Wal*Mart to grab a few things for care packages and I found a parking spot someone was backing out of it so I was waiting well this other bitch pulls up like blocking the car backing out in an another car was trying to go around the stupid bitch but she kept moving in turn made the other car almost hit me head on. I was on the phone talking to Samantha while all this was going on in the parking lot and the moron who was all pissed over this parking spot rolls down her window are you kidding cuss me over a parking spot I was there FIRST dumbass. Then on the way out walking to the car to get in to leave there was this Toyota truck like literally driving on the back of my flip flops I am sorry that you have to go slow in the parking lot Mr. I am in a fucking hurry. That parking lot will end up being the death of me!!!

Ugh well I am off for the night will blog again later!!!!

This week has been a week from HELL

Monday was a doozie I ended up with NO sleep an at the Emergency Room with my mom thanks to lovely chest pains an since she has already had a heart attack as well as a stroke we can't take a chance with NOT going to the emergency room plus her arm was going numb.

I was there til almost 9pm && we got there at 11:30am so Valentine's Days was wow insane Anthony said he wanted to do something but got pissy cause I was at the hospital with my mom an the ass didn't even have anything planned cause we had NO money to do anything but I sold all my charms,bracelets && everything so I was going to HAVE money but he had no plans so how were we to do anything?

I come home to place my Scentsy order to be told NO we don't have the money!! I had the money it was MINE I earned it bought things with it an sold those things!! I told my friend Jenne I would order from her well I feel horrible I had to back out cause Anthony told me NO we got into a HUGE argument since he spent money $100 on a PSP when he was still in New Mexico without saying anything to me til a week or so after he bought it. I wanted to know what the difference was I mean we still have bills an debt out so I did NOT see any difference there.

Tuesday-Refer to the Blog prior to this one

Wednesday-I wake up puking my guts out ALL day long!! I was completely miserable an have NO clue why I got sick. I was sick all day yesterday too ate some solid foods after not eating for a day things stayed down which I was AMAZED at. Slept some yesterday but NOT much at all an have been up ALL night never went to sleep the icky feeling is starting to settle in again :( So I am dreading that God please let everything stay down!!

Today-I went to Anthony's Ex Wife's myspace page to see when the last time she was on since we have to have her SS number for these ARMY papers it appears that her an her crack headed husband has had twins how true this is I am NOT too sure. I mean she has pictures of her doing everything a mom to be would be doing at a baby shower an doubles over EVERYTHING. When she was with Anthony she faked pregnant along with miscarriages when they were married. If she did have kids I want to know WHY is it that the ones who do NOT deserve them can have them an pop them out like gum balls from a gum ball machine an the ones who long for that precious gift from Heaven can't have it or they have to jump through hoops && over hurdles to get it?!?!?

I am glad this week is coming to an END && a NEW one will be upon us soon!!!

I believe we maybe seeing the silver lining in this horrid dark storm myself an my husband have been going through. After my post last night Anthony received an email from Home Depot telling him they would be calling him soon for a prescreening over the phone interview :) They called him today an he did his over the phone interview now we are sitting an waiting to hear if they call him in for an instore interview. *Fingers Crossed*

While I was having a break down last night I was talking to my friend Hayley an she helped me see that with Anthony && I TTC that being off all my meds will in the long run help us with getting a baby belly :)

Another Guardsmen's Wife emailed me last night an told me about a program for enlisted Soldiers with the National Guard where they can go through Truck Driving School obtain a CDL all paid for by the National Guard without having to use the GI Bill.

I am looking into going back to school for phlebotomy the program shouldn't be that long an I was approved back in August for $4 grand+ through FASSFA to go back to school on. While phlebotomy isn't my first choice of career field it will workout an be worth it in the end. I mean come on they ALWAYS need people to stick people with needles an pull blood =)) Eventually I will take classes or be a self taught digital photographer :)

Side Note:I am ready to do my first review for an actual well known company.

Thanks Sami for sharing the information for the opportunity to do the reviews.