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25 September 2010

Why Do I Bother?!?!?!

I often wonder why I TRY to be a good friend an help others out while setting my problems aside. I have come to realize that it gets me nowhere && those who I am being a GOOD friend to in all reality aren't my friends. I have had some chats with a few friends who I know are TRUE friends an I have been advised to let the other loosers walk out the open door!!

Here I have been planning a baby shower for a "friend" of mine's sister an I even did maternity pictures for her. Well I posted some of them on my facebook without her face in them an without her name. I wake up this morning to being bitched at by Tasha cause her cousin Amanda seen the pictures I had up so in turn she called Tasha && Alissa's mom telling her about the pictures. When I woke up Tasha said "You need to get the pictures of Alissa off  your Facebook my mom wants them off there by tomorrow." Seriously what the fuck?!? It is my facebook && there aren't any names or her face in them its just of her baby belly. Well the baby shower is tomorrow an I am the one who is suppose to be baking these cakes again my idea on how to do them an all along with putting together favor boxes. I am the one who did all the invitations,came up with all the games,called around to price out places to have the stupid shower, && so much more an this is what I a getting.

I was suppose to start school on October 11th but now that isn't happening cause well a so called friend fucked me. How can you offer someone your vehicle to use an then pull it out from under them? I just don't get it I have been trying to either go to school or work well most places have them assesment tests that I can never pass even though I answer them based of my manangement training I had. I failed the test 3 times for Winn Dixie so Tasha told me I was going back to school I could use her truck an she would pay for the gas to get me back in forth her idea an her offer NOT mine! I sold a wedding dress I had bought a GPS to find my way back an forth to school && was all EXCITED about going an talked about it nonstop. Come Septemeber 16th when I was suppose to go register for my classes && have a good day considering it was my birthday I was sadly mistaken. Tasha an I got up at like 8ish in the morning so she could finish cleaning out her truck an go to her mom's house for a bit before we headed out to Tampa to enroll me in school. I told her I was going to get a shower && get ready to go this was around 11ish we had to be there at 1pm well I got a shower,did my hair && got dressed walked outside to be told "I don't want to bring you down more then you already are but......I have been thinking the past few days an I don't feel comfortable with you driving my truck back an forth to Tampa its old an I don't want it to break down on you. I acted as if I was okay with it when really I just wanted to cry && scream why??? Don't get my hopes up seriously!! Ruin MY birthday when I did everything in my power to make sure she had a good birthday. 

I mean Tasha lives with me at my mom's pays $60 a week my mom puts $30 back for Tasha an keeps $30 to help with things around the house! Tasha has it easy she doesn't pay for laundry soap,body wash,shampoo or any of that she uses what is already here that my mom buys. Plus,she doesn't have to buy food she gets all that for $120 a month but yet she bitches about having no money!!! Well last week it was that time of the month for her && the past 3 months she has been using MY pads && MY tampons an when I told her the other night I needed her to replace them she says oh well I have 2 boxes of Tampons on my dresser! If that is the case then why they fuck are you using MINE?!?! I know this all sounds petty but fuck when you live off of $234 a month it really matter an adds up to pissing me off. I have to have certain personal care items cause I am allergic to so much stuff.


I am just so ready to get away from here && find new friends an start over with a clean slate.

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