Sapphire Ray's Toy Chest: What Your Boyfriend Thinks Of Your Sex Toy Drawer & My Thoughts On It

24 August 2014

What Your Boyfriend Thinks Of Your Sex Toy Drawer & My Thoughts On It

Sunday, August 24, 2014 | With Love ╰☆╮Sapphire Ray╰☆╮ | Edit Post

This link popped up in my News Feed on Facebook so I wanted to give my thoughts on it. I originally started this post out on Facebook as a simple to the point from my experience but it was getting super long an so I brought it here for a blog post. I would love to know your stories behind your toy adventures! What your partners thought? Who bought your first sex toy? Where did you get it? Yes I am being nosy and I want to know all about where you got your first toy! How old were you when you got it? Were a virgin? Please read the full article that brought this post on before reading on to my thoughts and experiences. I know I review sex toys and talk a little about my sex life but this post goes a little deeper, no pun intended.

Here is the link to the post that brought this whole post on

What Your Boyfriend Really Thinks Of Your Sex Toy Drawer Photo Credit Goes to The Debrief From The UK

This I found to be a good read but still is only an intro to what guys think of toys, well I should say most guys. A lot get intimidated by the size of the toys we have in our collection. Just because we have a 10 inch long silicone dick laying on our nightstand or headboard doesn't mean we want the WHOLE 10 inches in us. I usually try to get the same girth as my partner when it comes to toys. However, I have dealt with the whole "it will replace me, it is WAY bigger then me, I am not big enough for you" bullcrap. That isn't the truth.... While some purchase toys that are thicker then their partner it is because they want to explore. So your girl has a 3 inch thick dildo, that is because she wants to experiment, it doesn't mean she wants your dick to be 3 inches thick. I have toys of all shapes and sizes from realistic, to whimsical pieces and so much more. We aren't trying to replace you, we want to explore our bodies so you know what we need and desire, so we can guide you so you can learn how to please us each time. I was lucky enough to be able to explore my body long before I was sexually active so I know what I wanted and what I was capable of doing.

When I first got my 1st sex toy I was around 19 or 20, I was on a trip to the mall with a friend of mine who had already dipped her toys into the toy world LONG before we were 18. She was already sexually active while I was not, she was using her mom's sex toys as well. We were walking around the mall an you know Spencer's can be found in almost every mall. We were browsing an she mentioned needing a new vibrator an she walked over there to browse them. I was shy about it as I had never used one and feared running into people we knew as we were at 1 of the 2 malls our county has. Everyone goes to the mall especially before the economy went down the tubes.

So off into the section of Spencer's where the adult products are like the lubes, massage oils, vibrators and the like were found. I do want to add that in my county Spencer's is the ONLY place we can get adult products unless you know a person who does the sex toy parties. Sex shops are outlawed in my town and the only way Spencer's gets away with it is because they place signs all over that they are novelty items or massagers. I wasn't really intimidated by the items I was just shy. So I snagged up 2 different color traditional vibrators, they had no kind of bells or whistles to them. My FIRST ever sex toy ran off C batteries and sounded like a little jet engine and the only way to control the speed was by the turn-dial on the bottom of the vibrator. I had no option for patterns which could also be why I prefer steady vibrations over patterned vibrations?! That is something to think about if you ask me. Having my 1st toy being a steady vibration toy never crossed my mind on why I desired steady vibrations. My first vibrator was hard plastic an I didn't need lubrication as I produced enough on my own. Getting my first vibrator didn't mean that it was my 1st encounter with masturbation because I used to let the water run out of the faucet over my clit and I use to use the massaging shower heads as well. If I remember right I paid $10 a pop for my vibrators and I kept them for YEARS an recently maybe 3 years ago tossed them in the trash.

I am glad that I explored my own body and experimented with different positions with my vibrator even if it wasn't a clitoral vibe or a G-Spotting vibe. I can say between my cheapo $10 traditional vibrators, my fingers and the shower head I was able to learn what my body desired. I KNEW I needed clitoral stimulation whether it be vibration or using my fingers to rub my clit while penetrating myself with my vibrator.

Being able to explore and experiment with my own body, let me know WAY ahead of time that I was a squirter when it came to having most all of my orgasms. The most used phrases you hear when it comes to Female Ejaculation is "Oh I am a Squirter" or "I am a Gusher" but through research there are 2 different types of Female Ejaculation one is vaginal while the other is urethral (squirtng)

When I had my first experience with Urethral Ejaculation, I thought I peed myself which most think happens when they do squirt. I had emptied my bladder though so it couldn't be that, I always empty my bladder before sex or playtime alone. I then knew what my body was capable of so I could give a heads up about it, so my partners didn't think I just peed on their face while performing oral on me. Most of the time you will feel the urge to pee before you squirt or gush, especially if you are climaxing with G-Spot stimulation. Many have said they can't squirt or can only squirt with G-Spot stimulation an for so many others they can only squirt while pleasuring themselves. If you are looking to figure out if you can squirt or not it is best to explore your body a little more to see what your body needs, what it craves.

These 2 cheapo vibrators went through a few relationships with me but I kept them hidden for the most part because I didn't want to hear the "oh it's going to replace me" stuff. My 2nd relationship was with I guy I had known for YEARS and he was open to using toys as well as exploring. He actually got me 3 different toys including my first rabbit vibrator. We loved using my toys and exploring. When I first started buying my toys I knew NOTHING about materials so I ended up with some horrible material in my first picks of toys. Most all of them were jelly -puke- or TPR material.

We will fast forward a bit, I started getting invites to these Pleasure Parties as most call them. I would decline invites because I wanted to keep my interest in toys quiet I didn't want people to know I used them. A friend seemed to be hosting these Pleasure Parties every few weeks with several different companies so I broke down an went. We have appetizers, drinks, smelled, tasted and touched so many different products. This was also when I was introduced to glass toys, I went to the bar afterwards had drinks and fun with friends. I came home and told my fiance at the time that I wanted to sign up to sell sex toys. I wanted to become a Pleasure Party Consultant and well I became one. I did all I could to keep in the game but it was hard. The company I partied for didn't give us any training in materials so I never knew til I got into the review world that the BEST toys are made of glass, silicone, metal and wood. I am sure if I knew what I know now back then I would have made a killing selling sex toys. In all honesty I didn't know there were other types of pleasure objects such as the G-Spot toys and I showed no interest in them because I was able to achieve the orgasms I was seeking out. Just because I could reach the ultimate climax an squirt didn't mean every woman I came across could do it.

I had some partners who made me so uncomfortable about my ability to have urethral ejaculation because comments were made, "Did you just pee on me?" "Are you trying to drowned me?" "I need a snorkel so I can breath!" Believe it or not that can damage a woman's confidence especially when it comes to her sexual adventures. It got to the point no matter the type of stimulation or sexual act was being performed if I needed to have an orgasm, I would push away from my partner. I didn't push them away because I wasn't pleased or that I wanted them to stop but I didn't want to go through all of the embarrassing things listed above. I now tell my partners before we EVER start anything sexual in our relationships that I do squirt or gush. Some ask what I am talking about while others claim they have only seen it in the pornos they watch and didn't think it was a real thing that could happen. I have had more guys who were not into the whole soaking the bed and all that stuff but I couldn't help it I mean that is just how my body is wired. I have even held back my full orgasms with new partners over fearing the worst comments ever.

If you attempt to squirt on your own or with your partner I do want to mention that, the ejaculation from a urethral orgasm will have a sweet smell to it. So if you are worried whether alone or with a partner you can tell whether urine was in it or not by the smell.
This is just from my experience and others may vary in scent.

While I am sure this post is all over the place I want to get my point across that toys aren't bad at all they can help you learn about your body. I have to say I am glad that I was able to experiment with my body, with different toys made of different materials and toys with different vibrations because of that, I can guide my partners to what I like. Even after you know your body or well think you know your partner can introduce new sensations to you. If your partner is worried that a plastic, jelly, TPR, cyberskin, silicone, metal, glass, wood toy will take his place then he is out of his mind. A sex toy can't replace a person!! I had to have this chat with a few of my exes.... I found a simple easy way to explain to them that a toy can't replace them no matter how REAL it looks and feels, a sex toy can't hold you, kiss an caress you, it doesn't have that heartbeat you love to lay and listen to.

If you are a person who would rather use your sex toys over your partner's penis then you might need to sit and chat with them on WHY you only want to use sex toys. Guide your partner let them know what your body desires, don't shame them if you think his penis isn't big enough or long enough. You didn't get with him for his penis size did you? I doubt it so talk through things and don't make your partner feel as if he isn't good enough an you only want huge or tiny cocks.

These are just 2 of my most realistic looking dildos and I am lucky enough now to have a partner who is older who enjoys trying out new toys with me. If you are in a relationship with someone who isn't always home sex toys are great to have so you are able to pleasure yourself while they are away. So men, if you are worried that a silicone, metal, glass, plastic what have you is going to replace you it won't. Having toys helps some women who have a high sex drive even if their partner is home and can have sex every night or every morning. Some women need extra pleasure especially in their peak times. I have had guys who couldn't keep up with my sex drive so toys came into the play.

Sex toys can be fun if you are a woman who needs clitoral stimulation while being penetrated and your poor little fingers are getting tired of rubbing your clit bullets or other clitoral toys come in handy. I use to have a go to clit vibe called Calibri from Ladygasm but that was quickly replaced when I dropped a pretty penny on the We-Vibe Salsa bullet and when I say pretty penny I mean like $70 worth of pretty pennies. I struggled with that one I read so many good reviews but couldn't fathom spending that on a plastic bullet. Yes, it is rechargeable, plastic so it isn't porous and has amazing vibrations all sounded amazing, I found myself placing the Salsa in my cart but always removing it before checking out. I came across the sad news that We-Vibe was discontinuing the so it was NOW or NEVER I took the leap. I purchased my first Salsa and when it came in the mail I charged it right away to see exactly what power it had behind it! I was excited to feel the extreme power in this bullet that I spent over $70 on. I was so impressed by the power that I went and scooped up 2 more of them. On the site I got them from they went QUICK as in people would stalk the page to be able to order their's once it arrived in the warehouse. I stalked the page myself I got alerts that they were back in stock an honestly dropped everything I was doing an ordered mine.

If you are a squirter and laying towels down just isn't cutting it anymore you can purchase a Liberator Throe that is waterproof sex blanket. The Liberator Throe is another one of those items I procrastinated on and the site I reviewed and an shopped the most parted ways with Liberator so I thought getting a throe was going to cost me an arm & a leg. The throe is $120 which to me is too expensive to be buying! I put the throe on my wishlist and set an alert to let me know when they were back in stock. I had hope that they would come back to the site I was using I just knew something so good couldn't get taken away. On a day I felt horrible I heard my phone go off from an email alerting me that the Liberator Fascinator Throe was back in stock!! I thought it was too good to be true but I hurried pulled up the site on my phone placed the throe in my cart an checked out super quick. I was talking to my fave customer rep from the site an she told me there was a warehouse mix up an they were accidentally placed in their stock. As stupid as it sounds my heart sunk all I thought was well damn, now my order will be cancelled but I was told because it was their mess up and I already placed my order it would still be sent to me. SCORE!!!! It isn't the exact throe I wanted but it would do the job. I wanted the super fluffy zebra print throe but it didn't happen, the Fascinator Throe has a suede feeling on one side and a silky material on the other side. You can wash it in the washing machine and tumble dry on low heat. Even thought the throe comes at a HIGH price in the long run it is worth it!! With the throe you no longer have to fight over who's side of the bed you are having sex on, who is sleeping in the wet spot or worry about massage oils or lubes staining your bedding. You will also save on washing the sheets, blankets and towels.

If you aren't wanting to drop $120 could be less depending on where you pick it up at and what kind of sales you can get, you can always get one of the inconsistency pads that older folks use. You could probably also use the inconsistency pads you can get to lay in your child's bed when they are in diapers or potty training so if they leak through the diaper or wet the bed their mattress is still dry. I have an inconsistency pad that I received for a review item on my Family Friendly Blog and it works well for squirting I tested that out ;)

Again, I am sure this post is just a jumbled up mess but I hope it get the point across and that you read the article that originally made me write up this post.

Never be ashamed because you use sex toys!
Never be ashamed if you are a squirter/gusher!
&
Never be ashamed of your sexual desires, needs or wants.

Please note that when it comes to the links for Female Ejaculation from the vagina and urethra I found those links on the internet. I am NOT a doctor or medical profession so all of these statements I have given in this post are only my thoughts as well as experiences.

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